Why Do Feelings Change?

The behavior in humans is based on a balance of harmony. When one pushes, the other retracts; while one retracts, the other pushes. Behavioral change is based on a reaction of actions. This type of behavior is hard-wired into our genetics and is responsible for the stability of social behavior. If one pushes, and the other one pushes as well, it would trigger an inevitable imbalance of human nature. Thus is why in a relationship between two people, there is always going to be one person who is more attracted to the other and is willing to sacrifice more; equality isn’t an option. Equality may not be an option, but balance can be. The roles of the couple may change from time to time where one party is more attracted to the other and switched around a week later. But there will never be a point where it’s 50/50.

To give an example: If Bob acts a certain way when he first met Margaret; Margaret would be attracted to him. But somewhere along the way, Bob changes his behavior towards Margaret; Margaret would have no other choice but to react to this change by adapting to the interaction. It would likely be the case where Margaret starts acting “different” and Bob is left wondering why.

The nature of a romantic relationship between 2 individuals is never “stable” as it is constant and flowing. The instability and uncertainty is what causes the thrill and excitement of romance. If you feel as though you are giving too much and receiving too little in comparison. Step it down a notch and let your partner do some work. Remember, it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. One pushing too hard will eventually push the other off the edge, ending the relationship. A common problem we run into is that insecurity may cause us to push more than retract. If you hold onto something too tight, it will slip between your fingers, hold it out with your palm open, and it will stay. Ever wonder why needy people are unattractive? It’s because they push, push, and push, without retracting. The nature of all that pushing causes retracting from the other party. Attraction is pulling something towards you, and having someone retract, is the opposite of attraction. If ever you forget this information written here, think of a relationship as a game of tug of war; except that your goal is to make the game last as long as possible. Once you let the other player pull you into the mud, you lose. If you pull the other person into the mud, you also lose. So don’t overdo it.

-SchoolBoy

Gender & Communication Frequency

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“Women act upon emotions, men act upon logic” –SchoolBoy

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Women and men don’t think alike

When communicating with women, you must communicate through their frequency of emotions, not logic.  There’s no way to logically and verbally tell a woman she should be attracted to you.  Instead, you must understand that women interpret the things we say and the things we do by the emotions we trigger in them.

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A few examples on this concept

When a man first meets a woman and decides to give her a bouquet of flowers on their first date.  The woman will interpret this gesture and say to herself “maybe he’s insecure about himself and feels he’s not good enough so he’s trying to buy my attraction with flowers”.

This kind of thinking may be conscious or subconscious in a woman’s mind, but either way she’ll think that way.  A kind gesture of giving flowers can be sending the wrong message.

A couple is dating, the woman calls the man and asks him to take her out to dinner.  The man says “I’m busy, maybe next time”. The woman will interpret this gesture and say to herself  “Err.. Hes a jerk for not taking me out tonight even though I’m bored out of my mind, but he probably has other things to do and I’m not on top of his priority list.  He’s a real man who has a life and I’m into that”.

Even though the man may seem to act like a jerk for not taking her out when she asks him to, it’s because he’s telling her that he’s not about to drop everything in his life just to be with her.  It shows indifference and establishes independance.

Women will always interpret your actions or words.  Upon understanding this concept, your success will dramatically improve with women.

-SchoolBoy

The Theory Behind Sexual Attraction

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“Attraction isn’t a choice, it’s a response.” -David DeAngelo

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What is sexual attraction?

Like dating guru David DeAngelo says, “attraction isn’t a choice, it’s a response”.  The basics of sexual attraction can be found through years of human evolution.  When a woman feels sexual attraction for a man, it’s because their natural instinctual urges have been triggered; there is absolutely nothing she can do about it.  No amount of logic or reasoning can cause her to lose that sexual attraction.

The goal of sexual attraction is to allow a male and a female to mate and reproduce in ensuring the survival of the human race.  How a woman chooses her mate is also programmed through evolution as well.  Women become sexually attracted to a man based on whether he will provide her with good genes in producing attractive offspring.  By ‘attractive offspring’, I don’t mean just physically, but psychologically as well.

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Attraction is ironic

Women are naturally sexually attracted to men who are attractive to other women.  They subconsciously know what traits are attractive to other women;  this is why women tend to be sexually attracted to the “alpha males”;  which we sometimes call the “jerks” or the “bad boys”.  Women feel sexual attraction to the alpha males just because other women are attracted to the alpha males.  Ironic isn’t it?

-SchoolBoy

The Cliche of “I Love You”

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.“The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.“ -Stephen King

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Words are easily uttered

The words “I Love You” have been used so many times it’s meaning has become virtually obsolete.  The definition and meaning of this overused word “Love” can mean different things to different people.  Most couples will say these three words to one another on a daily basis, while not knowing that every time they say the phrase, it has less and less meaning to it.

Actions speak louder than words

Which brings us to rule #4 in my 10 Rules of Seduction & Dating:  actions, not words.  If you truly love someone, show it through your actions, not words; your partner will appreciate it much more than a simple “I Love You”.  A person who truly loves another will never feel the need to express their love through words because they know it has been proven time and time again by their actions.  Remember that love is not a feeling, it’s an action.

-SchoolBoy

Inner Confidence

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“Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.” -Henry Ford

The importance of inner confidence

Inner confidence is the basic step that must be developed before being successful with women.  Once you have inner confidence, not only will your success improve with women, but your everyday life will improve as well.

I first started learning about seduction and dating to learn new “techniques” and “lines” in hopes that it would make me irresistible to women.  Boy was I wrong about that; I quickly learned through trial and error that all the techniques and lines in the world didn’t help me at all.  Every time I tried to apply these new techniques or lines, I was nervous, unsure of myself, and just acted like plain chump.

The problem wasn’t with the techniques or lines; the problem was my lack of inner confidence.  Everything I did when approaching or talking to women, my actions, my words and my tone, all portrayed that I lacked inner confidence.  An example would be when I approached women; my hands would be in my pockets while looking down at the floor while avoiding eye contact; my body language alone showed that I lacked that inner confidence.

Somethings you just can’t fake

Everything that comes out of you will project what’s inside of you.   Women are experts at reading small cues that show who you really are.  It’s possible to fake having inner confidence with a woman, but eventually it’s going to show and she will find out.  The best way to portray that you have inner confidence, is by actually having inner confidence!

Having inner confidence means you are happy with who you are.  Being comfortable in your own skin and not giving a second thought what others think of you. Women are attracted to men who are attracted to themselves.  By bettering yourself as an individual, you change the way you see yourself and the way others see you.  If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, what makes you think others will look at you any different?

-SchoolBoy

Why Men Fail At Long Term Relationships

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“Women say they love independence in a man, but they don’t waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.” -unknown

The Scenario

Shawn had been in a fairly stable long term relationship with Janey for 5 years while living together in the same apartment.  Recently Shawn had noticed that Janey was constantly upset with him over trivial things that would not of bothered her before.  Janey would constantly nag at Shawn about how he spends all his time with his friends instead of her, not cleaning the house,  and not leaving the toilet seat down.  These were only a few of the things that Janey would complain daily to Shawn about;  because of these faults, Janey decided to tell Shawn that she will not have sex with him unless he “does the right thing and clean up his act”.

Feeling confused and depressed for making Janey unhappy, Shawn attempted to do exactly what is needed to be done in order to satisfy Janey’s requests.  Shawn then called his friends and canceled his weekend plans with them, he then cleaned and vacuumed the apartment, and made sure the toilet seat was always down after using it.  Janey continued to withhold sex from Shawn, while finding new reasons to nag at Shawn about.  It’s as if there was nothing Shawn could do to please Janey.  A few months later, Janey decided to break-up with Shawn stating she had lost feelings for him; leaving Shawn heartbroken and depressed without the support of his friends.

Failure is an option

When a woman first becomes attracted to a man, she is attracted by his independence and dominance.  Once a woman gets into a relationship with a man, she often feels the need to control him.  It’s just programmed into their brains to do so.  It may not happen initially, but it will happen eventually.  The woman will attempt to “mold” the man into what she wants him to be.  This will usually take place very slowly and gradually.  The man will attempt to please the woman by doing what she wants in order to avoid future conflict; doing so creates a negative effect on the relationship in terms of attraction.

The woman eventually loses respect for the man as she no longer finds him as a challenge and instead a doormat she can walk all over.  The man is no longer be seen as independent and dominant, leaving the woman wondering why he has “changed”.  Thus killing any remaining attraction the woman has for the man stating she has lost “feelings” for him.  Without attraction, what is the difference between being in an relationship and just friends?

Don’t let your guard down

Women will subconsciously test men for his suitability to be her mate, even in long term relationships.  Women generally do not have any control over this as it’s programmed in their brains through years of evolution to do so.  Most men fail these tests because women by nature are very manipulative.

In the above scenario, Janey decides to use sex as a negotiation tool to manipulate Shawn into doing what she wants.  Women know that it’s very difficult for men to resist their sexual urges.  This type of manipulation is very disrespectful; it’s along the lines of training an animal using punishment and treats.  If Shawn had any self-respect, he would of broke it off with Janey; but instead, Shawn played into her game and disrespected himself.  If Shawn doesn’t respect himself, how can he except Janey to respect him?

Stand your ground and don’t tolerate disrespect in any shape or form.  Be in control of your own life and don’t mold your life to accommodate someone else.  Always be willing to walk away from disrespect, especially if it’s coming from your partner.  Remember, if you respect yourself, others will too.

-Schoolboy