Why Do Feelings Change?

The behavior in humans is based on a balance of harmony. When one pushes, the other retracts; while one retracts, the other pushes. Behavioral change is based on a reaction of actions. This type of behavior is hard-wired into our genetics and is responsible for the stability of social behavior. If one pushes, and the other one pushes as well, it would trigger an inevitable imbalance of human nature. Thus is why in a relationship between two people, there is always going to be one person who is more attracted to the other and is willing to sacrifice more; equality isn’t an option. Equality may not be an option, but balance can be. The roles of the couple may change from time to time where one party is more attracted to the other and switched around a week later. But there will never be a point where it’s 50/50.

To give an example: If Bob acts a certain way when he first met Margaret; Margaret would be attracted to him. But somewhere along the way, Bob changes his behavior towards Margaret; Margaret would have no other choice but to react to this change by adapting to the interaction. It would likely be the case where Margaret starts acting “different” and Bob is left wondering why.

The nature of a romantic relationship between 2 individuals is never “stable” as it is constant and flowing. The instability and uncertainty is what causes the thrill and excitement of romance. If you feel as though you are giving too much and receiving too little in comparison. Step it down a notch and let your partner do some work. Remember, it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. One pushing too hard will eventually push the other off the edge, ending the relationship. A common problem we run into is that insecurity may cause us to push more than retract. If you hold onto something too tight, it will slip between your fingers, hold it out with your palm open, and it will stay. Ever wonder why needy people are unattractive? It’s because they push, push, and push, without retracting. The nature of all that pushing causes retracting from the other party. Attraction is pulling something towards you, and having someone retract, is the opposite of attraction. If ever you forget this information written here, think of a relationship as a game of tug of war; except that your goal is to make the game last as long as possible. Once you let the other player pull you into the mud, you lose. If you pull the other person into the mud, you also lose. So don’t overdo it.

-SchoolBoy