Why Men Fail At Long Term Relationships

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“Women say they love independence in a man, but they don’t waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.” -unknown

The Scenario

Shawn had been in a fairly stable long term relationship with Janey for 5 years while living together in the same apartment.  Recently Shawn had noticed that Janey was constantly upset with him over trivial things that would not of bothered her before.  Janey would constantly nag at Shawn about how he spends all his time with his friends instead of her, not cleaning the house,  and not leaving the toilet seat down.  These were only a few of the things that Janey would complain daily to Shawn about;  because of these faults, Janey decided to tell Shawn that she will not have sex with him unless he “does the right thing and clean up his act”.

Feeling confused and depressed for making Janey unhappy, Shawn attempted to do exactly what is needed to be done in order to satisfy Janey’s requests.  Shawn then called his friends and canceled his weekend plans with them, he then cleaned and vacuumed the apartment, and made sure the toilet seat was always down after using it.  Janey continued to withhold sex from Shawn, while finding new reasons to nag at Shawn about.  It’s as if there was nothing Shawn could do to please Janey.  A few months later, Janey decided to break-up with Shawn stating she had lost feelings for him; leaving Shawn heartbroken and depressed without the support of his friends.

Failure is an option

When a woman first becomes attracted to a man, she is attracted by his independence and dominance.  Once a woman gets into a relationship with a man, she often feels the need to control him.  It’s just programmed into their brains to do so.  It may not happen initially, but it will happen eventually.  The woman will attempt to “mold” the man into what she wants him to be.  This will usually take place very slowly and gradually.  The man will attempt to please the woman by doing what she wants in order to avoid future conflict; doing so creates a negative effect on the relationship in terms of attraction.

The woman eventually loses respect for the man as she no longer finds him as a challenge and instead a doormat she can walk all over.  The man is no longer be seen as independent and dominant, leaving the woman wondering why he has “changed”.  Thus killing any remaining attraction the woman has for the man stating she has lost “feelings” for him.  Without attraction, what is the difference between being in an relationship and just friends?

Don’t let your guard down

Women will subconsciously test men for his suitability to be her mate, even in long term relationships.  Women generally do not have any control over this as it’s programmed in their brains through years of evolution to do so.  Most men fail these tests because women by nature are very manipulative.

In the above scenario, Janey decides to use sex as a negotiation tool to manipulate Shawn into doing what she wants.  Women know that it’s very difficult for men to resist their sexual urges.  This type of manipulation is very disrespectful; it’s along the lines of training an animal using punishment and treats.  If Shawn had any self-respect, he would of broke it off with Janey; but instead, Shawn played into her game and disrespected himself.  If Shawn doesn’t respect himself, how can he except Janey to respect him?

Stand your ground and don’t tolerate disrespect in any shape or form.  Be in control of your own life and don’t mold your life to accommodate someone else.  Always be willing to walk away from disrespect, especially if it’s coming from your partner.  Remember, if you respect yourself, others will too.

-Schoolboy